A Monster
by Corvus2
Summary: How would you feel...if you were a monster?
1. Chapter 1

_Hello to all readers! This is my first fanfic so please don't hate me! XD_**_Warning this is boy x boy! If you don't like this then don't read any further! Thanks!_**

**_Disclaimer: I don't own Kuroshitsuji a.k.a Black Butler. Though I do wish I owned Sebby-kun….*pouts in corner*_**

**_I don't own confession by red either _**

**_A Monster_**

~Chapter 1~

**I feel fine  
And I can't smile  
But I feel the anger coming  
Its underneath  
I don't know why  
it's always overflowing  
it's a constant fight  
deep inside  
And I want to forget it**

Blood painted the walls. It was such a grotesque scene. Long, spidery fingers caught droplets of the crimson liquid as it fell from the ceiling. A boy who looked about eighteen stood in the middle of the room. He lifted his bloodied fingers to his mouth. A pink tongue darted out from between his lips, licking at the blood. He gazed at a woman's mangled body in the corner.

**I confess I'm always afraid always ashamed  
of what's inside me  
I confess I'm always afraid always ashamed  
of what's inside my head**

A coppery scent filled his nose as he struggled to breathe. A small shudder racked his body. His hand, shaking, moved back down to his side. The boy's eyes dilated as the small drops of blood registered with his system. He fell to his knees, groaning softly. The blood on the floor seeped through his clothes as he began crawling over to the corpse. He lowered his mouth to her neck and bit down on the soft flesh. Blood poured into his mouth and he drank greedily.

**And I can't breathe  
and I still feel  
But not the way I want to  
I'm on the edge I don't know how  
I can escape this nightmare**

Even after all these years it still repulsed him; how he had to satisfy his unnatural hunger. The boy pulled away, breathing deeply. His victim, this woman, lay dead, drained of her blood. A look of horror was forever etched on her face. His whole body shook with disgust.

**I confess I'm always afraid always ashamed  
Of what's inside me  
I confess I'm always afraid, always ashamed  
Of what's inside ** **my head  
What's inside my head**

Tears of blood ran down his face. He couldn't get rid of his humanity no matter how hard he tried. There was always that lingering sense of revulsion, hatred, and worst of all, guilt. Ending a life, no matter the reason always bothered him. It ate away at him from the inside. He would lock it away only for it to come haunt his dreams.

**Wasting away is part of my instinct  
I'll runaway, everything I hate  
Take this away, help me escape  
Take this away  
I confess,**

**Innocence!**

**Innocence!**

**Innocence!**

The boy walked out of the home. He continued to walk but stopped only to watch the place be engulfed in flames. If only he wasn't cursed to this empty existence, but he has to do what he must to survive.

.


	2. Chapter 2

_This is_ _a really big THANK YOU to all of those who read chapter. __**Constructive criticism is welcome so don't be afraid to comment!**_**_ Warning this is boy x boy! If you don't like this then don't read any further! Thanks! Also please remember to check and comment! I really need to know how I'm doing with this!_**

**_Disclaimer: I don't own Kuroshitsuji a.k.a Black Butler or Hurricane by 30 Seconds to Mars so take that lawyers! Anyways on with the story!_**

**_A Monster_**

~Chapter 2~

(No one's POV)

It was peaceful today at the Phantomhive Manor, but alas, all good things come to an end.

_BOOM!_

A large explosion rocked the manor. The door to the kitchen opened, and black smoke billowed out of the room. A black-haired butler looked at the scene with astonishment. A sandy-haired man with an afro stood in the middle of the destroyed kitchen, covered in soot and smoking a cigarette.

"Baldroy how many times must I tell you not to cook with a flamethrower?" The man rubbed at his temple, feeling a headache coming on.

"But Sebastian I didn't even use me flamethrower this time. I used dynamite." Bard grinned. "Besides, cooking is an art, and art means explosions!"

The butler, Sebastian, walked past the cook while handing him a broom."Get this place cleaned up. I will prepare the master's lunch."

Just as Sebastian was about to finish lunch, a scream stopped him in his place. "Now what is it?"

"Mey-Rin" He entered the hallway to see her sitting in a pile of broken china. "What happened here?"

Mey-Rin poked her fingers together in a nervous fashion. "Well, I was trying to get the master's tea set for his lunch, but I tripped and dropped it all. I'm sorry Mr. Sebastian."

'This maid…' Now he was beginning to recall what murderous intent felt like. "It's alright; I'll take care of this."

In a few minutes he a replaced set was to be delivered soon. When he turned to get back to his own work he was tackled by a crying Finny. 'Just when this day couldn't get any worse…'

"I can't understand you when you're a blubbering mess. Calm down and tell me what happened."

When they were outside, dead silence reigned as Sebastian gazed upon the wilted garden. How this happened daily, even he didn't know. He was speechless. "How?" was his only word?

"I forgot that the herbicide sprinkler broke! I'm sorry!" Sebastian twitched again. 'This…this IDIOT….makes me feel an emotion that goes far deeper than anger.'

He took a deep breath to calm himself. "There is nothing I can do now. Go to the gardening store and buy some trees." He pulled a pouch of money from his inner breast pocket and handed it to Finny. With that he walked away without another word. It was time to talk with the master about getting some competent help around the manor as well as get him his afternoon tea on time.

Sebastian knocked on his master's study door and patiently waited for him to bid him entrance. A child's voice answered with a tired "Come in". He opened the door and walked in. his master, Earl Ciel Phantomhive, sat behind his desk carding through paperwork.

Ciel Phantomhive was owner of the Funtom Toy Company and head of the Phantomhive household ever since his parents died. He had sapphire blue eyes. One of which had been covered with a black eye patch.

"Master, I have your afternoon tea." he poured the boy his cup, and sat it on the mahogany desk.

"Hmm, Earl Gray" He sipped it absentmindedly.

"You are right as always young master." Sebastian smiled. He heard a distinct crash from outside. "Master I do believe that the manor is in need of at least one other competent person."

"Am I right to infer that you already have someone in mind?" Ciel looked at the black clad butler out of the corner of his eye.

Sebastian smiled again. "Of course I do. Do you remember the Bloody Mary case?"

"If you mean the one that I let those pathetic Scotland Yard fools take care of, then yes." Ciel's visible eye narrowed. "What about it?"

"While the case closed, the culprit is still in London." The butler smirked.

"Are you insinuating that you want me to let some savage beast work for me?!" Ciel was suddenly silent as Sebastian was leaning in close to his face.

"Ah, but young master all beasts will tamed. It's either that or they have a collar to hold them down." He was eyeing Ciel's eye patch. "Or have you already forgotten?"

Ciel turned his head. "Of course I haven't forgotten." He turned back to glare at his butler. "You have until tomorrow evening to bring whoever it is back here."

"You have my thanks young master" he said as he walked out. "I shall return in time for supper tomorrow." Sebastian walked down to the main entrance. He passed by Tanaka. "I must ask you to look after the young master while I am on an errand." He received a hearty "ho ho ho" in reply that he took for a yes. The butler nodded and walked out. It was time to finally get another competent set of hands around here.

(OC's POV)

I walked the empty streets, enjoying the peace before I started hunting. My silver eyes looked up at the moon. I stood there, entranced by the pure beauty. The corner o my mouth almost twitched up into a smile. I had always loved the moon. I reached up towards it, almost as if I was trying to grab some far off dream. My gaze turned to my hand. These were the hands of a predator… a beast….… a monster. With that my hand fell back down to my side.

The familiar pains of hunger forced me to start one of the things I hated most…. hunting. My pupils narrowed into slits as I began my hunt. Hopefully, I wouldn't have to kill anyone tonight, but I knew my wishes wasted. I **always **killed my prey.

I sniffed at the air trying to find a good scent to follow. As soon as I picked one up that wasn't to far from where I was, I started off in that direction. I flitted though alleyways and across streets. My movements were way too fast for any human to see.

I stopped in the entrance to a dark alley. My prey, a middle-aged man stumbled in, drunk. I followed him in, my footsteps silent. He continued walking, too drunk to even notice the danger he was in. As soon as we were far enough in the alley, I moved up to grab him.

As expected, my prey immediately started fighting back. With my strength, restraining him was no problem. I covered the man's mouth to prevent him from screaming. The vein on his neck pulsed and I licked my lips hungrily. I could feel my canines sharpening and elongating in my mouth.

My teeth sank into the soft flesh. Blood pooled into my mouth and I swallowed, and forced myself to not to retch. As I swallowed another mouthful, I had to force down the bile once more. My hunger made me keep drinking, until finally, I couldn't take anymore. I pushed the half dead away from me. Leaning on the wall, I threw up. My body shook as I took shuddering breaths.

"Do you wish to continue living like this?" A smooth baritone voice reached my ears. My head snapped up to see crimson red eyes staring at me. I opened my mouth only to have bile rise up in my throat again. I retched again, gasping for air.

Panting, I glared up at the man. He stepped into the light, and I got my first good look at him. Raven, jet black hair reached his chin. Smooth, pale skin illuminated by the moon. The man dressed in a butler's suit. I frowned as I examined him. There was something that was _off_ about the man standing a few feet away from me. This was no ordinary butler.

"Who are you?" I rasped. My body was tense and ready to fight or flee at any given moment.

He chuckled. "Ah how very rude of me. I am Sebastian, head butler of the Phantomhive household." The butler, now known as Sebastian gave me a bow.

As soon as I heard the name Phantomhive, I was fleeing. There was no way that I was going to go toe-to-toe with the Phantomhives. I jumped up on one of the nearby roofs. 'Yes, better to run than get killed.'

I looked behind me to see if he was giving chase. When I didn't see anyone I gave a sigh. Then I heard a voice ahead.

I skidded to a stop. Sebastian was standing right in front of me, inches away. I fell back, landing on my butt.

"What do you want?!" I growled out. Fear was starting to creep its way into the pit of my stomach.

"I simply want you to answer my question." The butler smirked. "Do you wish to continue living like this? Judging from your reaction to a mere feeding for your kind I'd guess not."

'From my kind…? How does he know what I am?' I backed away. "You don't know a damn thing about me!" My voice sounded a lot braver than I felt now.

"Is that so?" He took a step towards me. As my fear escalated I quickly ran again. I jumped off the roof and back on the ground. Suddenly I was pinned to the side of the building.

**_No matter how many times that you told me you wanted to leave  
No matter how many breaths that you took, you still couldn't breathe  
No matter how many nights that you lie wide awake to the sound of the poison rain  
where did you go? Where did you go? Where did you go?  
As days go by, the nights on fire_**

His face was inches away from mine. My struggles were useless against his obvious superior strength. "You hate what you are, don't you?" I froze as his words echoed in my ears.

**_Tell me would you kill to save a life?  
Tell me would you kill to prove you're right?  
Crash, crash, burn, let it all burn  
this hurricane's chasing us all underground_**

"You can't stand that you have to kill to survive and it's eating you away on the inside." Another chuckle reached my ears. "You really believe yourself a monster."

**_No matter how many deaths that I die I will never forget  
No matter how many lives that I live I will never regret  
there is a fire inside of this heart in a riot about to explode into flames  
where is your God? Where is your God? Where is your God?  
Oh oh oh  
oh oh oh _**

"Shut up…" I struggled again only before I was slammed back on the wall. "You know what I say is true."

**_Do you really want?  
Do you really want me?  
Do you really want me dead?  
Or alive to torture for my sins?_**

Using all my strength, I managed to shove him off me. "Shut up…" I whispered again. Somewhere deep inside I knew what he said was true, but I didn't want to listen.

**_Do you really want?  
Do you really want me?  
Do you really want me dead?  
Or alive to live the lie?_**

"Yet your hunger forces you to do what you hate. You crave blood….you want it. So why do you deny your very nature?"

"I SAID SHUT UP!" With an enraged roar I charged him aiming a punch at his head.

**_Tell me would you kill to save a life?  
Tell me would you kill to prove you're right?  
Crash, crash, burn, let it all burn  
this hurricane's chasing us all underground_**

He dodged easily with a small smirk on his face. I kept blindly attacking, too deep in anger to think clearly. My nails formed sharp, dagger like claws and I swiped them at his face. He still had that smirk as he kept effortlessly dodging each of my attacks. I attempted a roundhouse kick but he dodged again, ducking under it easily.

I moved back a few feet, breathing heavily. "W-what the *(pant)* heck *(pant)* are you?" My answer was the glowing of the man's now cat-like eyes. He pulled his left glove off with his teeth, revealing the purple Faustian mark.

I immediately recoiled. "_Demon_, what do you want?!" I was beginning to panic. Not only was I facing a demon, but a powerful one at that.

He sighed. "I believe you've already asked me that. I merely want you to answer my question. Do you wish to continue living like this?"

**_The promises we made were not enough  
(Never play the game again)  
The prayers that we have prayed were like a drug  
(Never gonna help me here)  
The secrets that we saw were never know  
(Never sing a song a second time)  
The love we had, the love we had  
We had to let it go  
(Never giving in again, never giving in again)_**

"What do you think?" I whispered harshly. My bangs covered my eyes as I looked down. "I hate it!"

**_Tell me would you kill to save a life?  
Tell me would you kill to prove you're right?  
Crash, crash, burn, let it all burn  
this hurricane's chasing us all underground  
Oh oh whoa_**

"Well then, let's make a deal." My head snapped up to look at him. "What kind of deal?" I said cautiously.

**_This hurricane  
Oh oh whoa  
this hurricane  
Oh oh whoa  
this hurricane  
Oh oh whoa_**

He smirked at my caution. "I have no need to sign a contract with you. I already have one."

**_Do you really want?  
Do you really want me?  
Do you really want me dead?  
Or alive to torture for my sins?_**

"What kind of deal?" I snapped impatiently.

"I merely wish for you to work under my master as a servant in the household. In return, I will provide you with a meal."

**_Do you really want?  
Do you really want me?  
Do you really want me dead?  
Or alive to live the lie?_**

I blinked at him and then frowned in thought. 'Why does he want me?' I gazed at him as he patiently waited for me to answer. 'It would give me a chance to actually get a willing meal…and a fresh start away from this life could do me some good….' "If I accept…?"

"Then we shall leave for the manor after you have gathered your possessions." He answered almost immediately. I sighed and met his eyes.

"I accept"


End file.
